So last night someone comments that is “taking me a long time to get over the accident” Two months to the day. I was taken back. Yes is it taking me a long time. I am not bouncing back. I am, I hope taking all the necessary steps required for a full recovery.
My injuries are not catastrophic. I have only whiplash and a bruised sternum remaining now the bruises and grazes have healed. I have daily headaches, pins and needles, sporadic neck and jaw pain and my chest feels like it has taken one of the best during kumite. Add to this I gained 11 kilos since the crash as I fell off the No-Carb wagon with a thud and I am prone to feeling engulfed by feelings of feeling utterly let down, ungrateful, grateful, pissed off and okay. I try to stretch the moments I am okay.
I am back driving, the truck driver that hit and ran my car is still out there and weaving through insurance issues is painful, plus I am two months behind on everything! I missed out on my two week at home yoga study retreat, I missed out on teaching this term, on training towards my second kyu grading, on losing more weight, late with taxes and quarterlies, managing the karate club, the carpentry business, my healing work and oh ‘have you written anything lately?’ Later.
A temporary hiccup, I have lost two months, big deal, I know! But the reason it hurts so much is because of how hard I fought to get that life. I was finally beginning to find a balance.
Regaining that balance is harder than expected, doctor, psychologist and physio are working together to get me back in shape and I have waved goodbye to creamy afternoon teas and tim tams.
Three weeks from now I will be teaching my first yoga class since the accident. I am excited and the process of getting prepared is itself healing. It is a relief to be stepping back on my mat.